I was walking on the boardwalk in Long Beach, New York on a hazy, hot and humid day two years ago. I was listening to a friend's Ipod and the Moody Blues song, The Other Side of Life began to play.
The song was released in 1986 and I am sure, I have listened to it many times before. But, on that July day, absorbed in my favorite east coast weather, weeks before, I would make my move to California and cross the threshold, the words deeply resonated with me!
The risk the lovers and fighters take, are on the other side. For me, that meant separating from my narcissistic mother so , I could be my own person. As the song goes, you know the only way to get there is to take the very difficult first step. I took that step and the arduous journey on the other side was necessary to ready myself for my deepest love!
Are you wiling to take a risk and investigate the other side of life?
"Self-Knowledge is the Jewel."-Serena Jade
Do you have Self-Discipline to bring your unconscious, conscious?www.serenajade.co
Two weeks ago, I was watching the TV show Blackbox. I was appalled at what the writer's put out in the world. Blackbox is about a woman who is bipolar. The woman's psychotherapist tells her to forget the past and focus on the now.
OH MY GOD...I COULD NOT BELIEVE WHAT I WAS HEARING.HOWEVER, I DID HAVE A REALIZATION.
"There is a big difference between thinking vs. understanding one's past."-Serena Jade
If I did not understand my past, I know for a fact I would be dead right now!
Most of us think, forget the past, what is the past going to do for me now?
Thinking about the past is not going to do anything. But, understanding will transform your present and future as opposed to recreating the past!
Are you ready to understand your past?
"Self-Knowledge is the Jewel."-Serena Jadewww.serenajade.co
A wedding in our culture is a beautiful event. However, is it celebrating a relationship built on solid ground?
If you were to build a house; you would lay the foundation and then pour the concrete to form a strong structure. Then the walls can go up and a roof is put on. The floors and windows are put in to create the home, where you can now have fun and decorate the sacred space!
So, the decoration is the last fun step. A relationship should be the same; first you lay down a foundation. Two people understand their past and transform their childhood wounds.
They pour the concrete by coming together to create a healthy supportive relationship. Now, they are ready to decorate their bond, by having a ceremony to celebrate their creation of self to the relationship!
"In our society, we put tremendous amount of effort for the wedding as opposed to putting that energy into building a strong and beautiful relationship, first to the self and then to the other."-Serena Jade
Don't you want a solid structure before you start to decorate?
"Self-Knowledge is the Jewel."-Serena Jadewww.serenajade.co
If you are a regular reader of mine, thank you. You know, I discuss one's security, sharing one's body and money as opposed to using another and to own one's power for a functional self.
Functional parents will provide their members with the above in a healthy manner. A dysfunctional family will not, the parents don't have the knowledge to provide in a healthy way.
Functional parents will provide emotional security, will role-model equal sharing of sex and money and will demonstrate equal power. "Equal power means one person doesn't control both people but are two independent humans!"-Serena Jade
When functional parents exude the issues of a healthy survival system, the members are ready for the ultimate jump in our evolution!
The person can relate to dependency and independency thus becomes interdependent. There is sharing of empathy with another and the person can be a true lover as opposed to acting the part.
What does sharing empathy mean?
This means neither are identified with being dependent nor co-dependent. They are interdependent and they take into consideration being in the other person's shoes. They are in tune with the other person's feelings and problems.
The co-dependent is the caretaker and the dependent is dependent on the other person. The dependent doesn't have the insight into the other person's feelings or problems.
An example: What if one person is having financial problems, the dependent person is not in tune with the feelings of what the other person is going through. Now, if both people are interdependent, they will know what the other person is going through.
This is just an example and can be applied to any situation. The couple transforms into true lovers as opposed to acting the part of a lover!
Do you want to be a true lover?
"Self-Knowledge is the Jewel."-Serena Jadewww.serenajade.co
In the west ,we live in a secular society. Joseph Campbell, the world's expert on comparative religion said,"Our culture has gone into an economic and political phase, where the spiritual principles are completely disregarded."
Over the years, I have witnessed our secular social order, just follow along with their inherited family's religion. If parents, do not adhere to the religious system, than why do we continue?
We continue because we don't stand either way. If we have strong convictions, we will stand up to them. Like Joseph Campbell said, our society is purely economical and political.
We lost a sense of mystery to the cosmos. People will say they are more spiritual than religious. But what does this mean and can we bring up our kids to be more spiritual?
I have a profound saying," To be religious is to have an obligation to a particular religion but to be truly spiritual is to have a commitment to your soul."-Serena Jade
Can you let go of the religion you were born into?
If so, can you get in touch with the mystery in relation to yourself and the cosmos?
Can you relate this to your children?
"Self-Knowledge is the Jewel."-Serena Jadewww.serenajade.co
All of us ask a question when we form a relationship. The questions are: What can the other person do for me? or What can I do for the other person? The questions involve sex, money and procreation.
Can we transcend these questions? How do we do it?
Both of these questions create the exploiter and the martyr. One person manipulates and the other feels guilt.
To go beyond this mindset, we honor the other person. "We can say, I would like that mate in exchange for sharing our bodies for sex and to share our money resources for the mundane and for a higher purpose."-Serena Jade
"When we honor one another, we create abundance and fulfillment."-Serena Jade
However, in order to share we need to be able to share without losing our own power (independence).
Are you up for the challenge?
"Self-Knowledge is the Jewel."-Serena Jadewww.serenajade.co
I don't want to sit at the head of the table
I don't need to be lord of the house
All I'm asking for is you and I to be lovers
The above lyrics are from You Belong to You, a new song by Johnny Hates Jazz.
Observe our world and you will notice MOST relationships and must likely all, are on a parent to a child level. One person wants control over the other (The Parent). The other is more than likely to obey (child).
Only until we become conscious of this dynamic, it will not change. It takes a well-developed man to be an equal with their lover. It takes a well-developed woman to be an equal with their man.
Until this imbalance is resolved, a soul mate will be beyond your reach. Click on the link below to view the profound lyrics to another new Johnny Hates Jazz song...
The Soul Mate Prep Blog: The Soul Mate Prep Blog#33: Do you want to hear a...: I can see it in your eyes you're a spirit I recognize feelings I can't explain and I don't even know your name Do we only ...
Are you ready to resolve the parent and child relationship?
"Self-Knowledge is the Jewel." -Serena Jade
www.serenajade.co
