The Soul Mate Prep Blog#56: Both people desire sex in the beginning of a relationship, why doesn't it last?

In the beginning, both people are going with the flow with their new found sexual partner. However, that doesn't last long, power starts to infiltrate the relationship. One person wants control and expects their sexual needs to be taken care of. The flow has stopped and what was a natural process, has become a chore for the person who is under control.

Over the years, I have heard people say, sex is the glue that holds couples together.

I disagree and many books have been written about sex is the climax to a give and take outside the bedroom!

Why doesn't the flow last?

Because one person wants to control both people and the natural flow has been halted.

What is the solution?

I quote Jimi Hendrix, "when the power of love overcomes the love of power."- Our relationships will flow outside the bedroom as well as inside.

Do you agree or disagree?

"Self-Knowledge is the Jewel of all Knowledge."-Serena Jade
www.serenajade.co
                                        

The Soul Mate Prep Blog#55: What do women want most in a man that starts with the letter M?

Sacred (Money) and Profane (Soul Mate) Love by Titian


Fourteen sunsets ago, I was flipping through the channels and stopped at Family Feud. Steve Harvey, the host, asked, What do women want most in a man that starts with the letter M?

The contestants answered, masculinity, muscles. However, the number 1 answer was...Money!

What does this say about our society?

"We say we want love but our emotions say, "I need someone else to be responsible for me."-Serena Jade

Most women want to be taken care of but when someone else is responsible for another, it creates an imbalance.

The imbalance sets up a child to a parent relationship. As a society, let's transcend our 12th century emotions into a 21st- century, interdependent couple!

Are you ready to change?

"Self-Knowledge is the Jewel of all Knowledge."-Serena Jade
Author/Speaker/ 
www.serenajade.co

The Soul Mate Prep Blog#54: Are you addicted?

Did you know codependency/dependency is the cause?

Best-selling author John Bradshaw said, "Codependency/dependency is the root of addiction."

Codependency/dependency is an unhealthy way to parent. Either the parents are not physically/emotionally there for the child and grows up to be the codependent person. Or the parents are there too much for the child and grows up to be the dependent person.

"All of us are addicted to something. So, that means we are all either codependent or dependent."-Serena Jade

I grew up codependent, I was assigned the role as the caretaker for my mother. My mother was dependent and logically, the natural order of parenting was reversed. I was abandoned and left with emotional scars. I am still recovering from the emotional distress and threat from my childhood.

I would say the biggest addiction for me is trying to control my life. This is a compulsive behavior-my addiction.

However, I am aware of my dysfunctional childhood. In the past twenty-months, I unwrapped my defense mechanisms that covered up the anxiety of my stressful childhood. Not an easy feat and I continue every day to achieve healthy boundaries and connect with my higher self!

Are you aware of your childhood?

Were your parents codependent or dependent?

"Self-Knowledge is the Jewel of all Knowledge."-Serena Jade
www.serenajade.co

The Soul Mate Prep Blog#53: Does synchronicity and soul mates go hand in hand?

Synchronicity is defined as two or more events as meaningfully related. Synchronicity is a bridge between the conscious and unconscious, the known and the unknown.

In my story, Charismatic Connection synchronicity played a big part in understanding the bond between Chris and I.

Four events that stand out are:

A horse I took care of was going to race on this particular cold day in New York. I wasn't wearing warm enough gloves and my hands started to go numb. My boss had to take the horse from me and I never saw the jockey get on or off my horse. I remember this day like it was yesterday. It was a moment where I made a big decision to change my life. Chris and I were not supposed to encounter each other at that point. It was not until years later that I intuitively knew he was the jockey on my horse. For years, I tried to get the proof that he was the rider. Just a few years ago, I called up the Racing Form, retrieved this horse's past history and through the process of elimination Chris Antley was the jockey on my horse!

The second event happened five years later and I step into a beauty school and I tell the teacher I work with racehorses. The teacher asks," Do I know Chris Antley?" I was not in the horse racing world at that moment and it was out of context but definitely related.

The third event happened five years later, Chris Antley and horse racing were so far from my conscious mind but now I am thinking about him. I saw he was back riding in New York. I thought, "I must be psychic when it comes to him!"

The fourth event happened two years later as I didn't watch a Kentucky Derby in years. But, on May 1, 1999, I just felt like watching the Derby. I put the TV on and I see Chris Antley is riding a long-shot named Charismatic. I just knew he was going to win and they did!  That event would crystallize our connection!

Are you open to meaningful events that will link you to a deeper connection?

"Self-Knowledge is the Jewel of all Knowledge."-Serena Jade
www.serenajade.co

The Soul Mate Prep Blog#52: Is your body in the best possible condition?

Many, many moons ago, Plato said , I think a good soul by its virtue provides a body in the best possible condition.

I feel when one understands their soul, one knows their body is a vehicle for their journey. One instinctively knows to take care of their transportation for their lifetime. It is not vain to look and feel your best.

However, when our emotions are not working with our ego mind, we will hide our soul under the wicked emotions of shame and guilt. Shame and guilt translates to an overweight out of shape body.

Are you hiding your soul with an overweight body?

How are you taking care of your body?

"Self-Knowledge is the Jewel of all Knowledge."-Serena Jade
   Author/Speaker/An Autodidact of the Body, Mind, and Soul
         Do you have the Self-Discipline to be your own Guru?
                                                      www.serenajade.co

 

The Soul Mate Prep Blog#51: Do people See and Respect you?

 I was born into a family who rejected me. Thus, my primary needs

Serena Jade being shamed and rejected.

 
like respect and being taken seriously have eluded me. My family were the first people who dismissed me as if I were not there. These unmet childhood needs have controlled my life.

Through my 47-years on this planet, I have recreated the same situation over and over again. I am not seen as a person who has deep wisdom.

Shame and self-doubt has become my identity. How will I overcome this demon?

Just recently, I let go of control and got in touch with my hurt and anger. As I cut through the deep emotional pain, I am able to cease the negative voice.

I have created a mantra: I am seen and respected!

Only time will tell if my new voice will bring me peace...

Were you the Good child or Bad child?

The Good child is always seen and respected.
The Bad Child is dismissed and disrespected.

"Self-Knowledge is the Jewel of all Knowledge."-Serena Jade
         www.serenajade.co




 

The Soul Mate Prep Blog#50: Are you personally and spiritually on the path?

The dawning of the New Age in the 1960's saw a burst of being self-aware and eastern spiritual wisdom. If you grew up in the 1960's, you might be a person who witnessed this explosion.

Fast forward forty-eight years and the year is 2014...I am person who doesn't have any doubts of my spiritual existence. But, I have to work very hard to understand me at the personal level due to my family of origin's unhealthy ways.

I am not a person who has followed along with my family or peers. I have awakened to my personal dysfunction and I strive every day towards the union with my soul.

There is a difference between knowing about the path vs. living the path. There are a lot people who know about the path...

It is very hard to live on this road less traveled because your family, friends, neighbors are probably not living the path. For me, it has been a frustrating journey because there are not many people who can live without the influence of society telling them what is important.

However, I know if I am not true to myself, I will just follow the motions of life and never succeed towards my soul's destiny!

Are you ready to live the path?

"Self-Knowledge is the Jewel of all Knowledge."-Serena Jade
         Author/Speaker/Body, Mind, and Soul Consultant
                                                    www.serenajade.co

The Soul Mate Prep Blog#49: Can you let go of control?

We all know the saying; you plan and God laughs. However, how many of us truly live this statement?

To live without plans is living in the moment without trying to control. When we give up control, we are going to feel empty. If we can get over the hump, we are in touch with the flow of life.
We become more in tune with our intuition; the inner wisdom of our immortal being.

Chinese medicine says, the gallbladder is associated with control. The more one's ego wants to control, the longer the soul stays hidden and neglected.

Are you ready to give up control?

"Self-Knowledge is the Jewel of all Knowledge."-Serena Jade
         Author/Speaker/Body, Mind, and Soul Consultant
                                                      www.serenajade.co
 

The Soul Mate Prep Blog#48: Are you truly independent?

The interdependent couple are two people who are independent, share power equally and take accountability for their actions and feelings.

Do we have such a role model?

As a collective society, we are just starting to transform the way we mate. In long-past times, we mated for security, social obligations and economic support. We are either co-dependent: a pseudo-independent or dependent.

Be honest and ask yourself...Do I cling to another? Do I want control of another? Do I make demands on another? Do I want to possess another?

If you answered "yes" to any of the above, you are not truly independent. Childhood unmet needs are controlling your behavior-you are not free to have a healthy relationship.

Do you want to free yourself?

"Self-Knowledge is the Jewel of all Knowledge."- Serena Jade
Author/Speaker/Body, Mind, and Soul Consultant
                                    www.serenajade.co
 

The Soul Mate Prep Blog#47: Are you ready to unplug?

"Self-Knowledge is the Jewel of all Knowledge."-Serena Jade

"The Pharisees (influential group of Jews) and the scholars have taken the keys of knowledge and have hidden them. They have not entered, nor have they allowed those who want to enter to do so."-Gospel of St. Thomas

In the 1945, in the land of a timeless desert of upper Egypt, ancient scrolls were discovered. The long-past writings are from a group of people (the Gnostics) who Knew self-knowledge was the key to know one's self, and the Transcendent force of the universe.

"I feel the Gnostic scrolls were unearthed now, because we are living in a time where we have the outer freedom, to acquire inner wisdom."-Serena Jade 

Self-knowledge is different than what you have been taught outwardly.
Can you handle being different from mainstream society?

Serena Jade
Author/Speaker/Body, Mind, and Soul Consultant
www.serenajade.co

The Soul Mate Prep Blog#46: Are you ready to gallop into your own?

We just entered the Chinese year of the horse. Having spent my early years with the thoroughbred; I can say horses are gorgeous, exude power but at the same time are vulnerable. Horses have a sixth sense and can feel your calmness or fear...

Can you emulate the horse?

Can you take care of your body?

Can you own your power and be vulnerable at the same time?

Are you in touch with your sixth sense?

"Self-Knowledge is the Jewel of all Knowledge." -Serena Jade
Author/Speaker/Body, Mind, and Soul Consultant
                                        www.serenajade.co

 

The Soul Mate Prep Blog#45: Did you know Soul Mates are not just a romantic partner?

I love Dr. Brian Weiss's (author of Many Lives, Many Masters) description of soul mates: Picture a tree it has a trunk for stability and the leaves on the same branch are our soul mates. The leaves on the same twig are the closest.

Our soul's mates can have the same but slightly different experiences. When we start to understand our eternal nature, the souls closest to us will awaken with us.

I connected with my father's passion for horse racing. Horses were a love between my father's soul and mine from another lifetime. My father was definitely a soul mate of mine. Which led me to reunite with Chris who was a very close soul mate. This is my book Charismatic Connection ,you might want to read it!

My father passed away 22 years-ago and when he was alive he would tell my mother, he has been here before. I didn't know this information until years after his death.

I hope to reunite with his soul before I die and obviously his soul will be in a different body and not my father's body. In the near future, I hope to reunite with the other souls that are closest to my soul too. The closest would be my deepest Most-Profound Eternal Love.

Do you think you can recognize your soul's mates?

"Self-Knowledge is the Jewel of all Knowledge."-Serena Jade
          Author/Speaker/Body, Mind, and Soul Consultant
                                                       www.serenajade.co

 

The Soul Mate Prep Blog#44: Do you "REALLY" want to emulate the "Wolf" of Wall Street?

I didn't see the film nor read the book, however I did see the real "wolf" of wall street, Jordan Belfort's interview with Piers Morgan. Jordan Belfort kept saying, you lose your soul little by little.

This is an expression," losing your soul." You have to be in touch with your intangible soul to lose it. What really should be said in my opinion is little by little one's personality/ego becomes inflated.

"When one has power with lots and lots of money, one's ego can get carried away and think they are GODLIKE: this is called Narcissism."-Serena Jade

Without values we become hedonistic and don't care what happens to the next person. A true narcissistic person has developed!

Do you really want to be narcissistic and care only for your needs?

"Self-Knowledge is the Jewel of all Knowledge."-Serena Jade
           Author/Speaker/Body, Mind, and Soul Consultant
                                                         www.serenajade.co

The Soul Mate Prep Blog#43: What does the whole integrated person look like?

My life is not conventional, I didn't plan to go on a quest for the uncommon life. If my personality/ego had any say in the matter, she would have played it safe and continued being my mother and sister's servant.

However, the deeper part of me had other plans. I tapped into this wisdom at an early age. If I lived a conventional life, I wouldn't have a life other than being the caretaker/servant.

I had to find out why, I was feeling so bad about myself. It has taken me years and years of acquiring information about my dysfunctional life, and then I had to integrate it. What I am truly implementing now is the total understanding of being whole.

Here are 5 tips to wholeness:

1) The MOST important is to be physically and emotionally secure.

2) Once you have security, you can be autonomous and self-confident as opposed to shame and doubt. This is the place where you respect yourself and others. You can free yourself of outside influence and then you can be confident of your knowledge.

3) The heart is the bridge that connects our ego to our spiritual self. When we live from the heart we can energetically and emotionally give and receive.

4)  When we tap into our inner eye, we will have the ability to "see" and "feel" energy.

5) When we can tap into our inner eye then we will experience the  unconditional giving of energy to another and connect with the Divine energy within and without.

Do you think you can stay motivated to become whole?

"Self-Knowledge is the Jewel of all Knowledge."-Serena Jade
           Author/Speaker/Body, Mind, and Soul Consultant
                                                   www.serenajade.co

 

The Soul Mate Prep Blog#42: Do you have the courage to confront your demons?

Palm Desert, California

In Carl Jung's Red Book, he asks, is it solitude to be with one's self? His soul answers, solitude is only true when the soul is a desert.

For me, living in the desert for the past year and a half, has given me the opportunity to confront my demons.

What are my demons? For me, growing up and identifying with the pseudo-independent persona, I had to confront being alone. This means being alone in the desert triggered my abandonment issues. Codependent people hate to be alone because of the childhood unmet need. However, no one could help me confront this issue but myself.

The negative emotion of shame had to come out in the open and become a feeling again. I realize now being alone in the desert has given me the greatest gift: to know the darkest part of myself!

Are you ready to confront your demons so you can live a serene life?

                            Serena Jade
Author/Speaker/Body, Mind, and Soul Consultant
www.serenajade.co

The Soul Mate Prep Blog#41: Do you want to create heaven on earth?

One's lack of emotional autonomy and confidence creates an imbalance of power in relationships. When one is free and independent, one will have healthy boundaries with another. One will own their thoughts and feelings (fear/doubt).So, one does not have to control someone else.

This interdependent couple: are two separate people who own their own space. Couples who see themselves as two separate people are less inclined to take one another for granted.

In a soul mate connection it is paramount to see each other as two separate people. The dysfunctional enmeshment in a traditional relationship cannot be sustained in a soul mate connection. Soul Mates "see" and "know" each other from a deep place. In order for soul mates to embrace as ONE, they need to be 2 separate people. Their relationship is based upon equal power which leads to a mutual emotional give and take...real intimacy!

Are ready to become free and independent?

                            Serena Jade
Author/Speaker/Body, Mind, and Soul Consultant
www.serenajade.co

The Soul Mate Prep Blog#40: Are You Letting Fate or Free Will, Control your Destiny?

 "Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate."- Carl Jung

I was fated to be the caretaker for my mother.My mother imposed her free will onto me. I was not supposed to be happy or have a life of my own.

However, my free will gave me the wisdom to understand this dysfunctional interplay. My conscious awareness empowered me to make a wise choice and move toward my destiny.

I needed an emotional sense of self before I could take the journey to make a choice. It has been really, really hard to break away from my fate.

"The less self-awareness a person has, the more he is unfree.That is to say, the more he is controlled by inhibitions,  repressions, childhood conditioning which he has consciously "forgotten" but which still drive him unconsciously."-Rollo May

Are you letting fate or free will, control your destiny?

                            Serena Jade
                             www.serenajade.co

The Soul Mate Prep Blog#38: Do you think medication should be the main form of treatment for depression?

Last week, I received a link to watch, Andrew Solomon, a writer on politics, culture and psychology give a TED speech on depression.

In the comment box I write: Great talk...is medication the answer? In my experience, no! My dysfunctional upbringing was the cause and the effect was my depression.I have spent years undoing my unhealthy childhood.

I like the part in the speech Andrew says, "you relapse and relapse."

Depression is an important part of healing, because it is telling you issues that were once repressed are coming to the surface and needs to be brought into one's conscious mind.Medication will rob you of this precious gift!

I received a response about the medication issue and I said: I feel most get defensive when medication is viewed as a weakness.That is not what I am saying, I am saying in order to transform, we need to be in touch with the pain, so we can understand what the pain is saying! 

Medication robs us of the pain. We have a tendency to say everything is okay, when the pain is not there. Medication is a mask covering the pain.

Just Like, if your back hurts, your body is telling you something is wrong and needs attention.

Our mind is the same, the pain is telling us something is wrong and needs your attention. However, the answer is not right in front of us. That is where therapy and doing one's homework can and will, transform the unhealthy mindset, and after years will bring you a serene mind!

I received another response: The person says, I agree in part, but what if it is a chemical problem?

I answer: I feel if doctors viewed my brain years ago, they would have viewed a very different brain than what my brain looks like today. A different state of mind changes the molecules in your brain.

I feel if one goes into the psychotic phase, one needs medication. However, how many of us are going into the psychotic phase?

I came across an article I saved from 15-years ago it says," our society's medical insurance and how pharmaceutical companies attack Freud and Jung, and say we don't need therapy anymore, and that therapy doesn't do any good. Just take these pills. 

The whole advance in psychology made through suffering, all that is thrown away and you simply give people pills for their depression."

No one is going to tell me if I took pills years ago, I would be transformed.  The pain and my will to know myself gave me the greatest gift: I created myself into a whole person with a serene mind!

Therapy should be the main form of treatment for depression. Do you agree or disagree?

                           Serena Jade
Author/Speaker/Body, Mind, and Soul Consultant
www.serenajade.co

The Soul Mate Prep Blog#37: Are you ready for intimacy?

Autonomy: Freedom from external influence or control.

Confidence: Is a firm belief in one's powers, abilities, knowingness or capacities.

The ability to be autonomous and to have confidence will transform one's life. The opposite of these two aspects are shame and doubt.

When there is shame and doubt one's thought process is clouded. Either we are under-confident or overly-confident; the powerful and powerless.

Shame must be made into a feeling again and not a system of belief, where one is not good enough. Bring shame out in the open and doubt will cease. When one can do this... we will be secure, committed, compassionate and ready for intimacy!

Are you ready to become your potential?

                            Serena Jade
Author/Speaker/Body, Mind, and Soul Consultant
www.serenajade.com

The Soul Mate Prep Blog#36: Does matter and antimatter in physics mirror the ultimate soul mate?



A child's drawing of matter and antimatter at CERN!

Cern-The European Nuclear Research Center in Geneva-on the Franco-Swiss border.

Physics-comes from the Greek, "knowledge of nature." Physics is a science to understand how the universe behaves.

Every particle in the universe created out of the Big Bang appears to have a partner particle. Physicists right now only see matter. However, they understand the universe produced about as much  matter as antimatter.

When matter and antimatter meet they create a third entity-energy!

Physicists know matter and antimatter are always produced as a pair. The same energy but it's opposite charge, a mirror image. The ancients Greeks knew of the Atom but they couldn't prove it.

The matter and antimatter story could certainly mirror Plato's understanding, it was their very essence that had been split in two, so each half missed its other half.-Symposium

When matter and antimatter meet it is said, "they will annihilate or there will be an explosion of joy! "

Which do you want an annihilation or joy?

If you choose joy, then it takes a tremendous amount of inner understanding. Are you ready to take the arduous journey up steep hills and down vast valleys to reunite? 

                            Serena Jade

Author/Speaker/Body, Mind, and Soul Consultant

www.serenajade.co