The Soul Mate Prep Blog#106: Are you the Co-Dependent Caretaker?

Last week I had a vivid dream; a man was drowning in a pool and another man was in the pool with him. I was standing outside the pool watching and I screamed," You can save him." But the other man didn't help and I didn't jump in, I watched the man go under.

This dream was very profound, I was conditioned at a young age to be the caretaker. The caretaker pays too much attention to other people's problems at the expense of their own well-being and needs!

The caretaker sets up a triangle known as the Karpman Drama. The caretaker is the rescuer but the person who their rescuing (victim) unconsciously resents the help, thus becomes the persecutor to the caretaker and now the caretaker becomes the victim! 

In my life, I now state, no one becomes more important than me! In the near future, I can meet my

mirror image and hold him in awe without possession!

Are you the Co-dependent Caretaker with your parents, siblings, friends, spouse or children?

"Self-Knowledge is the Jewel."-Serena Jade
Creating Awareness/Uplifting Society
Bringing unconscious Social/Spiritual wisdom to the world...
www.serenajade.co

The Soul Mate Prep Blog#105: Are you the Selfish-One or the People-Pleaser?

In all relationships, there's one person trying to avoid separation or avoiding too much togetherness.

The person who is trying to avoid separateness had parents who withheld attention, affection and are the people-pleasers.

The person who is trying to avoid too much togetherness had parents who invaded their space and are the selfish-ones.

In the beginning of any relationship, both people are flowing and creating an unrealistic scenario and giving up all their time. Down the road, one person starts to pull away and the one who is trying to avoid separation experiences the loss of all togetherness. Fear creates the tension and the struggle for power and distance is upon us.

"When the power of love overcomes the love for power, the world (and you) will know peace."-Jimi Hendrix-I am inserting [you] because when we overcome the love for power, you will know peace!

How can we overcome this very common interplay? 

We need to become fully autonomous and own our independence and space. So, then we have the ideal trinity-My Space, Your Space and Our Space!

But, for this to work both people need to confront their fears of trying to avoid too much separateness or togetherness.

Are you ready to stop focusing on trying to prevent your partner, friend, child from abandoning you?


Are you ready to give up some of your time and embrace togetherness?

If we can accomplish this very difficult task; we can experience real intimacy regardless if you are soul mates or not. But, this authentic intimacy will be extremely intense with true soul mates!

Taken from the book, The Two Step: The Dance Toward Intimacy by Eileen McCann

"Self-Knowledge is the Jewel."-Serena Jade
Creating Awareness/Uplifting Society
Bringing unconscious Social/Spiritual wisdom to the world...
www.serenajade.co

The Soul Mate Prep Blog#104: Do you abuse your power or do you give it away?

In the book, The Heroine's Journey by Maureen Murdock she explains: In patriarchal relationships, there is always a dominate and submissive. The dominate person has to keep a one up position (abusing their power). 

"To own one's power is to have full autonomy."-Serena Jade

If one had parents who put shame and doubt on them, or they put shame and doubt on others, then one does not own one's autonomy. One will get into ALL relationships, where there is a dominate and submissive.

To have self-knowledge is to know which one you are; 
Are you the dominate or submissive?

"Self-Knowledge is the Jewel."-Serena Jade
Creating Awareness/Uplifting Society
Bringing unconscious wisdom to the world...
www.serenajade.co

The Soul Mate Prep Blog#103: Soul Mates are "the buzz" but our emotions are in the Middle Ages...

Since the dawning of civilization, we have mated for survival! Like a woman I knew in New York, she admitted she picked a husband for "Practical Reasons." Her husband provided an abundance of money, expensive gifts, cars, two children and a gorgeous house in an affluent neighborhood on Long Island.

Her father instilled in her, she was worthy of abundance. However, her father failed to instill in her, she was worthy to be treated with respect and to have fulfillment with the abundance.

She has been married for 15 years and has accepted their lack of emotional closeness. She overlooks his coldness and love for power and control. She has repressed her sexual appetite, they sleep in separate rooms and he doesn't make love to her, they get laid!

She married for "Practical Reasons" NOT for an authentic connection.She is now divorced.

Fifty Shades phenomenon says it all as millions of women still want men for practical reasons!

Women and Men, let's get our emotions balanced, then a soul mate is within our reach. Are you willing to work for an authentic connection?

"Self-Knowledge is the Jewel."-Serena Jade
Creating Awareness/Uplifting Society
Bringing unconscious Social/ Spiritual wisdom to the world...
www.serenajade.co

The Soul Mate Prep Blog#102: Jupiter Ascending-a look at the Heroine's journey...

(Masculine) -Astronomy tells us Jupiter is the largest planet in our solar system. (Feminine)- Astrology tells us Jupiter is about expansion and abundance.

Jupiter Ascending is a new film written and directed by the Wachowski siblings. Jupiter Jones is Cinderella-like. Her father was killed before she was born and now Jupiter and her mother are cleaning ladies. But, Jupiter is a reincarnated Queen. Can she reclaim her throne?

The Wachowski siblings were going for the hero's journey with Jupiter. The hero's journey has been told throughout history that the hero's father is absent from the hero's life. The same sex parent has the most influence in a child's life.

So, in the heroine's journey, the mother figure is the most important. However, there is not that much written about the heroine's journey. All we have are tales of Cinderella, Snow White and they are dealing with stepmothers and sisters. As a society, we don't want to accept there are mothers and sisters who are just as cruel. In real life, the women who endure such cruelty become the caretakers for their elderly parents and who in society have been labeled; Old Maids. But, we are living in the twenty-first century and the caretakers can overcome their fate by an enormous amount of self-knowledge! Then they can use their positive father role model and be effective in the world...the servant becomes the heroine!

Of course, this process takes years of uncovering shame and doubt. The "Good Person" becomes a whole person. They are free from outside influence.

With Jupiter ascending, we don't witness Jupiter asserting her influence. But, nonetheless, I loved the film and I especially loved the ending.

Will you see Jupiter Ascending?

Do you think you can transcend your shame and doubt?

"Self-Knowledge is the Jewel."-Serena Jade
Creating Awareness/ Uplifting Society
Bringing unconscious Social/ Mystical wisdom to the world...
www.serenajade.co

The Soul Mate Prep Blog#101: Do you revere your fellow human?

Ananda Spa, India

 

When I was at Ananda Spa, I loved the gesture of reverence called Anjali mudra. When you walked passed another human you were expected to acknowledge the person.

 

With your hands pressed together and palms touching, it is known that you bow to the Divine in the other.

 

The west is missing this very basic but very profound recognition of the other. However, true soul mates/twin flames naturally "see" the Divine spark!

 

When you walk pass your fellow human, can you acknowledge the person and the Divine energy in them?

 

 

"Self-Knowledge is the Jewel."-Serena Jade

Bringing unconscious Social/Mystical wisdom to the world...

www.serenajade.co

 

 

 

The Soul Mate Prep Blog#99: Is it lust or love?

TV personality, Shaun Robinson was interviewing Bobby Brown about his relationship with Whitney Houston the other day. She asked him, "Was it lust at first sight or love at first sight?"

Bobby Brown responds, "Oh that is deep."

I laughed out loud because with all due respect to my fellow humans, it is usually lust at first sight!

If you find my observation offensive-Can you differentiate lust from love?

"Self-Knowledge is the Jewel."-Serena Jade
Bringing unconscious Social/Mystical wisdom to the world...
www.serenajade.co

The Soul Mate Prep Blog#98: Do you ponder the deep questions?

Artist Andy Lakey drew this angel for me, he sensed I had a big heart and lots of energy!


Do you think about why you are here on earth? Is it just to live, beget the next generation, have fun and die?

What happens when your body turns to stone and perishes?

Do you have faith? When most people say they have faith, it usually implies an outside force. I want you to think of an inside force...Do you have faith that an inside force survives death?

Can you live life by having faith in this inside force?

"True spirituality is knowing and trusting the intangible force within. A tremendous amount of faith in this inside force, will bring heaven to you in the here and now."-Serena Jade

Do you have complete trust in the intangible force within you?

"Self-Knowledge is the Jewel."-Serena Jade
Bringing unconscious Social/Mystical wisdom to the world...
www.serenajade.co

 

The Soul Mate Prep Blog#97: What is Self-Knowledge?

The other day, a friend of mine said, "It is easier to see other people's lives and not your own."

Ancient Greek Wisdom; Know Thyself!

Self-Knowledge is about being disciplined and reflective to understand and then transform one's psychological unhealthy identity. When one can acquire inner psychological wisdom, one can then start to understand one's spiritual nature. But, it takes discipline to want to be a better person and have healthy relationships, first to the self and then to others!

"To seek myself and know who I was and who in what manner I now am, that I may again become that which I was."- Gnostic-wisdom

Do you want to be a better person or do you think the other person has the problem?

Self-Knowledge is the Jewel."-Serena Jade
Bringing unconscious Social/Mystical wisdom to the world...

The Soul Mate Prep Blog#96: The writers of the TV show Blue Bloods are delusional...

In every episode of Blue Bloods, the family has a Sunday ritual meal together. I was watching a rerun the other day and one of the characters at the dinner table said, "People have two lives, one they are born into and the one they choose."

What were the writers thinking of when they wrote that line, I wonder?

Here we have a show about a follow along family of policemen. People choose a profession but to choose a life different from what one was born into is another story!

Think about your family's heritage: Do you adhere to your ancestor's place of origin?

Are you following your family's customs and beliefs?

Do you think you can separate from your family, when they put shame and guilt onto you, not to be separate from them?

If you answered "Yes" to the first two and "No" to the last question, you are living one life. Would you like to live two lives?

"Self-Knowledge is the Jewel."-Serena Jade
Bringing unconscious Social/Mystical wisdom to the world...
www.serenajade.co

The Soul Mate Prep Blog#95: Is your Heart truly open for Love?

The Heart's Awakening by William Bouguereau


"Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it."-Rumi
 
FROM THE YEAR 2007-"The tendency to think about the other person’s feelings, more than mine is alive within me. That is the karma between us; I disregard myself but I am dependent on the relationship. He has control and sees me as an extension not as a separate person. He withdraws as the reaction, the more he withdraws I become frustrated and become the victim to my caretaker syndrome. My fear is abandonment but I abandon myself and I feel responsible for the other. The more I feel responsible, the more he withdraws and I feel abandoned even more.

Karma is a Sanskrit word meaning action = reaction. I am mimicking with James, my relationship with my mother.
I have been taught to disregard myself and think about my mother and her needs. But, underneath the façade, I am dependent on the relationship.
I have to become safe and secure and stop my people pleasing, not an easy task. 
Once I transform, I will no longer be its victim.
I 

will be responsible to me and to another, not for another.  

I will be autonomous and can be caring-detached and then I will move out of the karmic situation and move on to my deepest most-profound eternal love.

When this is going to happen? I do not know.

EXCERPT FROM

The Auto-Bond: A Personal Growth Relationship

Best-selling author John Bradshaw said, "Codependency/dependency is the root of addiction."

"When our heart is ready for love - we have transcended our

Co-Dependent and Dependent unhealthy defense mechanism."-

Serena Jade

Are you ready to open your heart?

"Self-Knowledge is the Jewel."-Serena Jade

Bringing unconscious Social/Mystical wisdom to the world...
www.serenajade.co

The Soul Mate Prep Blog#94: The Ten Commandments vs.Exodus:Gods and Kings...

 
 

First, I have to say Moses is a very important figure in my life. I converted to Judaism because I feel a deep connection with Moses. If you don't know, Moses is a very important and central figure in Judaism. The  Torah aka The Old Testament is the five books of Moses.

For me, The Ten Commandments is a classic. If you are aware, Cecil B. DeMille depicts Moses and his transformation into a leader.

Even though, I loved the special effects in Exodus and how Ridley Scott portrayed the plagues and the Red Sea, Exodus did not inspire me. The film didn't depict Moses's calling and I didn't like the God representation as a boy. In The Ten Commandments, God was a spirit within the hearts and minds of every being.

Moses is a hero figure, he represents someone who heeded the call and followed his destiny.

Do you hear the call to your destiny? If so, are you following the call?

"Self-Knowledge is the Jewel."-Serena Jade
Bringing unconscious Social/Mystical wisdom to the world...
www.serenajade.co

The Soul Mate Prep Blog#93: Are you treating your body like a temple?

Love Your Body

Your body should be treated like a temple. When your emotions are working on the same team as your mind, you will want to be a good parent for your body. 

Working out consistently and eating healthy are paramount to keeping your body in top form. When our emotions of guilt and shame control us, we are not the best advocate for our body. Get in touch with your guilt and shame to create a body that you will love.

Are you ready to love your body?

"Self-Knowledge is the Jewel."-Serena Jade
Bringing unconscious Social/Mystical wisdom to the world...
www.serenajade.co

 

The Soul Mate Prep Blog#92: Do you feel Significant?

The moment I took my first breath, my mother deemed worthy, I was insignificant. From that moment on, my ego would develop and I would reject my unacceptable trait; I am Significant.

When we reject our unacceptable traits, we project them. We see someone else with the traits we would like to acquire and this usually comes in the form of envy.

However, the only way we can acquire the unacceptable traits is by accepting them and then identify with the trait. This is not easy because our ego wants safety at all costs and to be identified with the trait that was unacceptable is very difficult. However, the task is not impossible but the trick is instead of being envious, be conscious of what we are projecting.

Are you projecting your Significance or owning it?

"Self-Knowledge is the Jewel."-Serena Jade
Bringing unconscious Social/Mystical wisdom to the world...
www.serenajade.co

 

The Soul Mate Prep Blog#91:Are you skeptical about Soul Mates?

Envision the beauty that would come from a true, pure, and authentic spiritual connection with another soul...

Three Soul Mates had a past life love of horses and fox hunting in Yorkshire, England, and Reincarnated in the south shore of Long Island, New York for their love of horses and racing ...

Charismatic Connection is inspired by the amazing true story of a champion jockey and an authentic soul mate - for years, jockey Chris Antley and Serena Jade lock eyes, psychically connect but are kept apart. Years later, their psychic gift predicts Chris Antley's win in the Kentucky Derby.

"I am excited; I have a shot, even if it is a long shot, to win the Kentucky Derby again. I call Ron, and I tell him to speak to Wayne and tell him we are riding Charismatic in the Kentucky Derby. I notice the first six letters of Charismatic rearranged could spell Chris A. I tell Ron a couple of days later I know who is going to win the Derby. 

Ron asks, “Who is it?”

 Chris Antley in his own words- Chris says, “I had a night vision: we won.”

Ron didn’t appreciate this intuitive wisdom, and says, “You shouldn’t tell anyone—they might think you’re crazy." Charismatic is such a long shot that Ron thinks it would take divine intervention for him to cross the wire first."-Excerpt from Charismatic Connection.

 

[Serena Jade] has not watched a Derby since 1995, and I don't have a conscious clue why I want to watch the Derby this year. I just feel I should view the race today...

Charismatic and Chris Antley winning the Kentucky Derby!

Does this fated event finally bring them together? 

Charismatic Connection is an incredible story, pick up a copy today at www.amazon.com/author/serenajade 

"Self- Knowledge is the Jewel."-Serena Jade
Bringing unconscious Social/Mystical wisdom to the world...
www.serenajade.co


 

The Soul Mate Prep Blog#90: Will you see a loved one after they die?

Three Soul Mates had a past life love of horses and fox hunting in Yorkshire, England, and Reincarnated in the south shore of Long Island, New York for their love of horses and racing ...

Horse racing arrived in North America from England in the year 1665. The south shore of Long Island, New York is the home of New Market racecourse. Two centuries later Jerome Park comes into being through the efforts of two visionaries, stock market investor Leonard Jerome and August Belmont Sr. Mr. Belmont is a politician, financial wizard, and racehorse owner/breeder.

The Belmont Stakes was named after Mr. Belmont and was inaugurated at Jerome Park in 1867, in which year it was won by Ruthless. In 1889 the race was moved to Morris Park, a racetrack in the Bronx. August Belmont Jr., a Harvard graduate and suave businessman, wants to build the largest racetrack in the United States. Belmont Park in Elmont, just outside of New York City, came into being in 1905 to honor Mr. Belmont’s father, August Belmont Sr.

England started its own acclaimed races in 1809, the 2,000 Guineas Stakes, the Epsom Derby, and the St. Leger Stakes. The American races matched those of England’s. The term “Triple Crown” did not enter people’s minds until the early 1930s.

The Belmont Stakes is the oldest of the Triple Crown races. Called “The Test of Champions.” -Charismatic Connection

We are not going to encounter the same exact person but we will "see" the same essence. This is exactly what I experienced with Chris. The moment Chris and I were in the presence of each other, we were completely put in a trance by one another.

We crossed paths for years and each time we locked eyes, we were under a spell. However, this was a process of awakening, our personalities were very confused about our connection.

It was not until 1999 when unlikely longshot named Charismatic and his jockey Chris Antley (Yes, that Chris) made history winning the Kentucky Derby that my connection with him made sense.


Charismatic Connection is an amazing story, I wish more people understood how extraordinary it really is...

Pick up a copy of Charismatic Connection www.amazon.com/author/serenajade today?

"Self-Knowledge is the Jewel."-Serena Jade
Bringing unconscious Social/Mystical wisdom to the world...
www.serenajade.co

 

The Soul Mate Prep Blog#89: Do you desire the Ring or the Person?

"On earth, a diamond may be forever but a true Soul Mate/Twin Flame bond is for eternity."-Serena Jade

I don't think there is a woman in the western world, who doesn't want a beautiful diamond engagement ring...

Historically, engagement rings were insurance for the woman, if her lover walked out on her before the big day. She kept the ring and could use the money.

Since the 1940's  and De Beers Jewelers, marketing "A diamond is forever" and the rise in equality; a diamond is considered a symbol of love.

However, I am going to dispute this claim that the Ring is a symbol of eternal love. The ring in our society is still very much a symbol of status and security for the woman. She now has her man to provide the emotion of security for her. Ideally, she should be emotionally secure and the man should be her Timeless-Jewel!

"I feel in the future, there will be a mutual exchange of finite-matter to symbolize a commitment to marry."-Serena Jade

What is more important the ring or the person you say you love?  

"Self-Knowledge is the Jewel."-Serena Jade
Bringing unconscious Social/Mystical wisdom to the world...
www.serenajade.co

The Soul Mate Prep Blog#88: Gut Instinct vs. a Sixth-Sense...

Romeo

Years ago, I was hiking Prospect Mountain in Lake George, NY with my dog Romeo. I was intrigued with Romeo's instincts on that day in August of 1991. My dog was not on a leash and was walking beside me. Periodically, Romeo would stop for a second, assess the path before him and could feel the ground underneath, then would move and step in the solid direction. 

Would you say, my dog was intuitive or instinctive?

I am a little biased when it comes to collies however, at that moment Romeo was displaying his instinctual internal mechanism to survive.

When someone says, listen to your gut, it is implying to listen to the third chakra. The third chakra is located in the gut and it is associated with survival.

A Sixth-Sense is the sixth chakra and pertains to information not about survival instinct but of a higher-nature beyond time and space. To be Clairvoyant (able to see the intangible) Clairsentient( Clear-Feeling)  Claircognizance (Clear-Knowing) and Clairaudient (clear-hearing).

I was walking alone in the desert yesterday and my gut was asking me, "Am I safe?" This was not my sixth-sense but my gut instinct. 

Next time you say, "Gut feeling," can you step back and determine if the information is about survival or of a higher-nature?

"Self-Knowledge is the Jewel."-Serena Jade

Bringing unconscious Social/Mystical wisdom to the world...

www.serenajade.co

The Soul Mate Prep Blog#87: Are you Passive, Aggressive or Assertive?

When we are passive, we allow others to choose for us, we are inhibited and lack self-confidence. As a reaction to our passivity, we whine, withdraw, fear our own anger or fear anger from someone else.


When we are aggressive, we choose for others but by hurting them. We are expressive but at the expense of another. If we don't like others behavior, as a reaction, we punish or hold a grudge. We frustrate others and our self. We use others in a victimizing way to get what we want.

When we are assertive, we feel good about our self, as we express and choose for our self. As a proactive response to our assertiveness, we are interested in the feelings of another and feel good about our own feelings. We take responsibility for our own fears, and how we feel. We feel good that we are uninhibited to express our thoughts and we feel good by asserting our self, regardless of the outcome!

Are you being passive or aggressive, but like to be more assertive?

Are you aware of the passive, aggressive, assertiveness difference in yourself?

"Self-Knowledge is the Jewel."-Serena Jade
Bringing unconscious Social/Mystical wisdom to the world...
www.serenajade.co

The Soul Mate Prep Blog#85: We say in a domestic violence case the victim is not to blame, but is that the best mindset?

Domestic violence is not just physical abuse. More often than  physical, it is the mental that is most damaging, because it is subtle. Most people don't even consider verbal abuse damaging!

The victim attracts the abuser into his or her life. Most people would say, how can that be? If that is the way they were treated by one or both of their parents, this is what unconsciously feels familiar.

"One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious."-Carl Jung

So, wouldn't it be better to say to both the predator and prey-you can benefit by understanding and transforming your unhealthy inherited behavior?

Are you ready to take accountability for your unconscious dysfunction?

"Self-Knowledge is the Jewel."-Serena Jade
Bringing unconscious Social/Mystical wisdom to the world...
www.serenajade.co